Saturday, September 22, 2012

Regarding a Personal Matter - 30 Days in Seclusion

Last month after seeing my routine matinee movie in the form of The Bourne Legacy, I decided that was the last time I would go anywhere for the rest of the month. Little did I know it would be the beginning of a routine that would be very powerful.

There is a subculture in Japan that is made up entirely of shut ins, people who never leave the house or very seldom do. The group are called Hikikomori. I had become fascinated with these people and read articles about their lives as well as watched documentaries and ended up looking into the culture itself. Eventually I ended up joining a forum for them. It's something that effects people all around the world.
Now  I've never been outgoing or social, but I'd leave the house for food and materialistic gratification monthly. I contemplated trying it out as an experiment of psychology then decided against it. Little did I know that it would take me by force.

It all started on the 20th of August. I went and saw The Bourne Legacy (an amazing movie) and knew there was no reason to go anywhere anymore that month (no good movies) and so...I didn't.  The month came to an end and I remained at home. That was around 10 days of said month.
September came and so did commercials for new movies, some great ones like Resident Evil! Well my usual pattern of going to town and checking out Walmart for DVDs didn't happen in the first few days, nor did that first weekend movie. I didn't care about the outside world because I had begun to become content. Too content.

Well the days passed and went by in a flash, I began to spend all my waking hours watching Anime I had purchased for cheap via eBay. One day became 5 as I watched hours and hours of Mobile Suit Gundam. Needless to say the hours flew by episode after episode. Roughly 100 episodes of Anime were watched in not much time at all, in part due to my insomnia. The Anime Bender was over, but the real source of power was about to come.

I don't do drugs nor do I drink, I hate beer. No I'm not straight edge either, anyway, If you ever wanted to get high and lose all sense of ambition, you'd have to listen to Acid Mothers Temple & the Melting Paraiso U.F.O. They're like no other group in the world.
Now don't get me wrong, I love their music, but all you'll do is listen to what they call "trip music" nonstop, 24/7. It's all instrumental with auditory chanting like monks at times and it will send you to another plane of existence.  Well, to not ramble, it did that to me, day in and day out listening to songs as long as 40 minutes as time melted away.

I tend to think if I had more friends and were more social, this would have never started. Not putting any of them down, they have lives. It turns out that I've begun to fear interactions with people and sitting in a car due to the rise in my mortality rate doing so. However I believe that part truly is just a phase.
Dead or Alive 5 comes out Tuesday and I have it pre-ordered. That doesn't mean I'll go pick it up though.

It's been 31 days.


  1. That reminds me of the most depressing time in my life. I spent almost an entire year in my house...i gained a lot of weight, began pulling out my hair again, and cried myself to sleep most nights. Possibly the lack of vitamin D and sunshine, and seeing other people. I lost most of my vocal abilities due to lack of talking. My body strength went down. So did my IQ. Then came several suicide attempts.
    I stopped caring about my bathing routine. I mean, I wasn't going out, why should I shower? As a result I developed some skin infections.
    My skin turned sallow, and my eyesight went bad.
    My mood turned super sour, everything pissed me off.
    It turned into a cycle of self-destruction. I became miserable, as a result I didn't give a shit and didn't want to go out, which made me more miserable...and so on...